There’s a reason certain questions rise to the surface at 2:00 a.m.—the hour when the house is quiet and the worries feel loudest. One of the questions couples wrestle with most in those restless moments is, “When will my spouse ever change?” It’s a question born from disappointment, discouragement, and the fear that nothing will ever be different.
In this episode, Rusty and Heather gently turn that question in a new direction. Instead of focusing on what a spouse is or isn’t doing, they explore the deeper truth that genuine transformation in a marriage often begins within the heart that is willing to be changed. When a person stops trying to fix or manage their spouse’s growth and instead comes to God with humility, readiness, and expectation, something shifts. A surrendered heart becomes the doorway to peace, clarity, and spiritual growth—even if the circumstances in the marriage haven’t moved yet.
Listeners will hear how preparing one’s own heart creates space for God to work in ways frustration never could. Rusty and Heather describe the difference between waiting for a spouse to become someone new and allowing God to shape one’s own responses, attitudes, and patterns. It’s a hopeful reframe for anyone lying awake at night, exhausted from carrying the weight of change that was never theirs to hold.
There’s hope at 2:00 a.m. And it starts with a simple shift: “God, change me first.”
